Happy New Year
After spending an excellent Christmas with Sam and her parents at their home in Hereford, we returned to Manchester by train then hopped on a flight to Edinburgh. My bro Tim and his wife Josie (and her parents Janet & Joe) live up there now in a big house 30 miles from the city. My folks were there too when we arrived so it was nice for us all to be together. My immediate family aren't really close but we all agreed it would be nice to see each other. And it was - we consumed tons of booze and did loads of cool things in Edinburgh, including being in the centre for Hogmanay.
Bro is three years older than me and still has the attitude that I am a stupid little boy who doesn't know anything. But still, you can choose your friends...... He has the capacity to be bigoted and misogynistic, so often isn't much fun to be around. His wife is platitudinous - she makes the dinners, does the housework and enjoys spending his money. In small doses, they are ok though and we can have a laugh.
On Jan 2nd Sam and I hired a car with the intention of alleviating the need for lifts for a few days and also so we could travel up to the highlands for a couple of nights and see some more of Scotland. That evening, Sam and I returned to bro's house with the car (a Ford Focus 1.6 which was pretty cool), and sat down for dinner with T&J.
Tim began to rant and be rude about Mum and Dad who were now back in Derby - he's terribly insecure and blames them for all of his shortcomings - i.e. that we did without a lot of stuff when we were kids. This is also apparent in his lifestyle - he has an ostentatious car (a land rover) which he drives to and from work and supermarkets, wears Barbour jackets, keeps a golden retriever and has an obsession with showing off his wealth and class. He of course tends to come across foolishly but he isn't aware of this.
Earlier he'd asked me for advice about buying a laptop so he could "work in the lounge rather than the study next door". My view was why bother? They can't get broadband in the country anyway. They should be grateful to be away from internet distraction and enjoy the countryside. Surely if he really needs to *work*, why can't he get a machine through his job? Anyway I expect he took my opinion as a sleight against his lifestyle. People always buy what they want and not what they need.
I digress, Tim was bitching about Mum, and then when I made a comment (sort of agreeing with him) he told me to shut up and that it was his new year's resolution not to speak about it any more. Weird!
Later in general conversation he made a corker of a comment - "Governments won't change their environmental policy until there is a globally catastrophic event like in the movie - The Day After Tomorrow". Indeed, governments tend not to act until it's too late (e.g. tsunami warning system installed after the event...) but I took issue with this statement as the extreme weather conditions in that film are total Hollywood bollocks and wouldn't happen.
I asked, "What event would that be then? Massive flash floods caused by an instant sea level rise? Giant impossible hurricanes and a new ice age in a week?"
He has a degree in medicinal chemistry and should have some understanding of the dynamic water system on earth; water melting from ice caps may mean more clouds and hotter temps rather than a straightforward sea level rise, for example. It's an extremely complex system and such generalisations are ill conceived. Tim was sticking to his guns anyway and wasn't backing down. He’d read a newspaper article about it somewhere. He was making a fool of himself when I was merely asking him to justify his point of view. He was being ignorant and offensive.
Sam then said, "Please can you change the subject? Can you just shut up? This isn't going anywhere!" and went away to the bedroom. Tim looked surprised, and so I apologised and said something about how she wasn't good with conflict and that we weren't listening to each other when I knew that she was just exasperated with his woolly babbling. I went upstairs to reassure and comfort her and then returned downstairs as she apologised for her outburst. Tim's response was a shrug. This upset Sam again, so saying nothing she went upstairs and began to cry. Again, I comforted her and after a while we returned to the lounge and began to read by the fire.
After 5 minutes, he said, "Andrew" - I knew this would be bad; he calls me Andrew when he wants to add gravitas, "I'd like you to pack your bags and leave in the morning".
Shocked, I answered "Why?"
"I just want you to go."
Josie piped up - "And because Sam, you've been consistently rude and I've had it up to here" as she gestured to her brow. "If you ever come here again, and I doubt you ever will, how dare you ever speak to my husband like that."
We weren't expecting this - the day before, Josie had been saying to Sam how much they have in common and were having a great laugh. We were amazed and confounded.
Not wanting to say anything rash, Sam and I went straight up to our room. We packed our bags and rang the hotel in the highlands and asked if they had any vacancies that night. They had, and so we left immediately and drove for 3 hours up there in the dark, fog and snow. We bought a map from a petrol station on the way and arrived just after 11.30 pm. Phew! We were so pissed off but went straight to bed and slept.
When we woke in the morning, we climbed a small mountain (2700 ft) which took our mind off things. Later we assessed the situation and realised that we were going to struggle for money as I am but a poor student and had a limited budget. Fortunately my Grandpa had given me a cheque for £250 for Christmas so we would survive for the time being, and Sam had a few hundred pounds in her account that would keep us going if necessary. She had been saving and wasn't keen on using it, but these were desperate measures.
We actually had a great break for the remaining week before our return flight. We did stuff we otherwise wouldn't have, but it did leave an unexpected hole in our finances. Cheers Grandpa - thanks to you I didn't have to use my credit card.
I rang my parents and told them what had happened when we were back at Edinburgh airport on the 9th. I hadn't wanted to mention it before as I didn't want them to worry. When we were packing our bags in Tim's house, I wanted to cry and ring them for reassurance but I resisted.
Mum answered the phone and everything that had been on my mind flowed out. I was ashamed and disgusted of this fucking idiot, my brother. His cruelty meant I had no reason to protect him any more so I told Mum about all of the horrible things T&J had said about her over the years, the duplicitous cunts. I got angry. I wanted to put paintstripper on the landrover, arsenic in the dogfood, burn down his house, stove Tim's head in and kick Josie in the face. Repeatedly. How could they be so stupid? You can't choose your family. As different as we are, and as much as I have slagged him off (see above) he's my brother and I care about him. Blood is thicker than water. I was deeply hurt. Why did he do this?
Mum cried. She and Dad had already heard the other side of the story, and could make no sense of it as it seemed so out of character; apparently Sam had been consistently rude and then exploded with rage. They felt that it was a shame that they'd had to ask us to leave, but wanted to put it behind them now. The fucking animals. Tim had also been complaining as we'd left without paying him for our Hogmanay tickets. Too fucking right. I had to pay to stay in hotels so needed all my own money and besides, we didn't have any cash on us when we left.
The call went on for a while. I felt bad for upsetting Mum. I said I would call later and speak to Dad. We flew back to Manc and life returned to normality.
I sent Tim a cheque and a short note thanking him for the time we did spend with him and that I was sorry things went the way they did. I sent a separate letter to Josie's parents apologising for not saying goodbye to them, as it became impossible for us to stay in the house. I also wrote - 'as brothers, Tim and I have never been close and don’t see eye to eye about a lot of things. I’m sure you appreciate that for each version of events, there can be another take.' Sam and I had got on really well with Janet and Joe and didn't feel too happy about probably being slandered. Was it ok to write this? I don't know.
I received a card from Tim a few days later thanking me for the cheque. He was pleased to hear that we had a good few days in the highlands. Twat. He said that he and Josie were just as upset as Janet and Joe with the comment in my letter to them. Fucking twats. He said he was sorry that Sam had repeatedly said unkind remarks to him and wished me good luck with my PhD studies.
I hope they die painful deaths.
After spending an excellent Christmas with Sam and her parents at their home in Hereford, we returned to Manchester by train then hopped on a flight to Edinburgh. My bro Tim and his wife Josie (and her parents Janet & Joe) live up there now in a big house 30 miles from the city. My folks were there too when we arrived so it was nice for us all to be together. My immediate family aren't really close but we all agreed it would be nice to see each other. And it was - we consumed tons of booze and did loads of cool things in Edinburgh, including being in the centre for Hogmanay.
Bro is three years older than me and still has the attitude that I am a stupid little boy who doesn't know anything. But still, you can choose your friends...... He has the capacity to be bigoted and misogynistic, so often isn't much fun to be around. His wife is platitudinous - she makes the dinners, does the housework and enjoys spending his money. In small doses, they are ok though and we can have a laugh.
On Jan 2nd Sam and I hired a car with the intention of alleviating the need for lifts for a few days and also so we could travel up to the highlands for a couple of nights and see some more of Scotland. That evening, Sam and I returned to bro's house with the car (a Ford Focus 1.6 which was pretty cool), and sat down for dinner with T&J.
Tim began to rant and be rude about Mum and Dad who were now back in Derby - he's terribly insecure and blames them for all of his shortcomings - i.e. that we did without a lot of stuff when we were kids. This is also apparent in his lifestyle - he has an ostentatious car (a land rover) which he drives to and from work and supermarkets, wears Barbour jackets, keeps a golden retriever and has an obsession with showing off his wealth and class. He of course tends to come across foolishly but he isn't aware of this.
Earlier he'd asked me for advice about buying a laptop so he could "work in the lounge rather than the study next door". My view was why bother? They can't get broadband in the country anyway. They should be grateful to be away from internet distraction and enjoy the countryside. Surely if he really needs to *work*, why can't he get a machine through his job? Anyway I expect he took my opinion as a sleight against his lifestyle. People always buy what they want and not what they need.
I digress, Tim was bitching about Mum, and then when I made a comment (sort of agreeing with him) he told me to shut up and that it was his new year's resolution not to speak about it any more. Weird!
Later in general conversation he made a corker of a comment - "Governments won't change their environmental policy until there is a globally catastrophic event like in the movie - The Day After Tomorrow". Indeed, governments tend not to act until it's too late (e.g. tsunami warning system installed after the event...) but I took issue with this statement as the extreme weather conditions in that film are total Hollywood bollocks and wouldn't happen.
I asked, "What event would that be then? Massive flash floods caused by an instant sea level rise? Giant impossible hurricanes and a new ice age in a week?"
He has a degree in medicinal chemistry and should have some understanding of the dynamic water system on earth; water melting from ice caps may mean more clouds and hotter temps rather than a straightforward sea level rise, for example. It's an extremely complex system and such generalisations are ill conceived. Tim was sticking to his guns anyway and wasn't backing down. He’d read a newspaper article about it somewhere. He was making a fool of himself when I was merely asking him to justify his point of view. He was being ignorant and offensive.
Sam then said, "Please can you change the subject? Can you just shut up? This isn't going anywhere!" and went away to the bedroom. Tim looked surprised, and so I apologised and said something about how she wasn't good with conflict and that we weren't listening to each other when I knew that she was just exasperated with his woolly babbling. I went upstairs to reassure and comfort her and then returned downstairs as she apologised for her outburst. Tim's response was a shrug. This upset Sam again, so saying nothing she went upstairs and began to cry. Again, I comforted her and after a while we returned to the lounge and began to read by the fire.
After 5 minutes, he said, "Andrew" - I knew this would be bad; he calls me Andrew when he wants to add gravitas, "I'd like you to pack your bags and leave in the morning".
Shocked, I answered "Why?"
"I just want you to go."
Josie piped up - "And because Sam, you've been consistently rude and I've had it up to here" as she gestured to her brow. "If you ever come here again, and I doubt you ever will, how dare you ever speak to my husband like that."
We weren't expecting this - the day before, Josie had been saying to Sam how much they have in common and were having a great laugh. We were amazed and confounded.
Not wanting to say anything rash, Sam and I went straight up to our room. We packed our bags and rang the hotel in the highlands and asked if they had any vacancies that night. They had, and so we left immediately and drove for 3 hours up there in the dark, fog and snow. We bought a map from a petrol station on the way and arrived just after 11.30 pm. Phew! We were so pissed off but went straight to bed and slept.
When we woke in the morning, we climbed a small mountain (2700 ft) which took our mind off things. Later we assessed the situation and realised that we were going to struggle for money as I am but a poor student and had a limited budget. Fortunately my Grandpa had given me a cheque for £250 for Christmas so we would survive for the time being, and Sam had a few hundred pounds in her account that would keep us going if necessary. She had been saving and wasn't keen on using it, but these were desperate measures.
We actually had a great break for the remaining week before our return flight. We did stuff we otherwise wouldn't have, but it did leave an unexpected hole in our finances. Cheers Grandpa - thanks to you I didn't have to use my credit card.
I rang my parents and told them what had happened when we were back at Edinburgh airport on the 9th. I hadn't wanted to mention it before as I didn't want them to worry. When we were packing our bags in Tim's house, I wanted to cry and ring them for reassurance but I resisted.
Mum answered the phone and everything that had been on my mind flowed out. I was ashamed and disgusted of this fucking idiot, my brother. His cruelty meant I had no reason to protect him any more so I told Mum about all of the horrible things T&J had said about her over the years, the duplicitous cunts. I got angry. I wanted to put paintstripper on the landrover, arsenic in the dogfood, burn down his house, stove Tim's head in and kick Josie in the face. Repeatedly. How could they be so stupid? You can't choose your family. As different as we are, and as much as I have slagged him off (see above) he's my brother and I care about him. Blood is thicker than water. I was deeply hurt. Why did he do this?
Mum cried. She and Dad had already heard the other side of the story, and could make no sense of it as it seemed so out of character; apparently Sam had been consistently rude and then exploded with rage. They felt that it was a shame that they'd had to ask us to leave, but wanted to put it behind them now. The fucking animals. Tim had also been complaining as we'd left without paying him for our Hogmanay tickets. Too fucking right. I had to pay to stay in hotels so needed all my own money and besides, we didn't have any cash on us when we left.
The call went on for a while. I felt bad for upsetting Mum. I said I would call later and speak to Dad. We flew back to Manc and life returned to normality.
I sent Tim a cheque and a short note thanking him for the time we did spend with him and that I was sorry things went the way they did. I sent a separate letter to Josie's parents apologising for not saying goodbye to them, as it became impossible for us to stay in the house. I also wrote - 'as brothers, Tim and I have never been close and don’t see eye to eye about a lot of things. I’m sure you appreciate that for each version of events, there can be another take.' Sam and I had got on really well with Janet and Joe and didn't feel too happy about probably being slandered. Was it ok to write this? I don't know.
I received a card from Tim a few days later thanking me for the cheque. He was pleased to hear that we had a good few days in the highlands. Twat. He said that he and Josie were just as upset as Janet and Joe with the comment in my letter to them. Fucking twats. He said he was sorry that Sam had repeatedly said unkind remarks to him and wished me good luck with my PhD studies.
I hope they die painful deaths.
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